Diets & The F word

May 13, 2010

“As a Plus-size model, everyone loved my curves – except me”, “Celebrity Diets – fads or effective?”

A search for the word “fat” on returns me with 9440 articles, all dedicated to our feelings towards our bodies.

Good grief. As someone who has done the whole “I feel fat” thing like most women, even looking at that number is enough to make me want to go eat some cheesecake. Wait, what!? Surely reading those things should make me want to diet, right? Shouldn’t I feel unaccepted in society, shouldn’t I wish I was thinner and looked like recently-slimmer-celebrity-in-the-news? Not this time, matey. Because I’m on an attitude diet.

Holy cow when I re-read that it sounded alot cheesier than it did in my head! Mmm, cheese. That reminds me – I cut out dairy last year for three months upon a remark made to me by someone I cared about – “you don’t have the self control”. So I did it, nothing with milk, butter, cheese; lactose ingredients were completely out of the window for three months of my life. And I didn’t lose weight.

Why? I asked myself.

Because “diets” don’t work. They fail by definition. I cut one thing out an exchanged it for another, and ate that excessively instead. I saw chicken as my new comfort blanket, I saw dried fruit as an awesome way to pass the time. The one thing I didn’t change is my attitude towards food, which of course is always where the problem starts.

Now though – back to my previous note of “you don’t have the self control”.  One would think that there lies the problem – if one can’t successfully lose weight, then it’s because you have no self control, it’s because you have a horribly unhealthy emotional reliance on food as a comfort – yes? Well, what I’ve recently realized is that no, that’s not the case at all.

I know I have self control because I keep negative thoughts about others to myself, I can quite easily pass up a night out to do work and I don’t feel the need to spend all my money on clothes, even though I would very much like to. What I did have though, was a warped view of what my problem with food was. I berated myself for breaking a diet, for gaining weight – I called myself “fat” in my head in a bid to get my mind to change, and nothing worked,  I just kept on munching – be it one day into a diet, two weeks in, or three months in.

And hallelujah, I had a mental breakthrough. The way to beat diets, is to allow yourself to eat whatever you want, when you want it. I started to do this after reading “how to overcome overeating” by Carol Munter (definetly reccomend this).

I let myself do this, and more importantly, I didn’t berate myself when I ate those two cookies. I said “that’s okay, Rosie. You’re eating those cookies because you see it as comfort, you are trying to take care of your feelings right now”. Then afterwards, I’d think – it’s so much easier to eat “bad” foods and sit and think “if only I were thinner, my life would be better” afterwards, than it is to face up to the thing that caused you anxiety in the first place.

Why? Because it’s what we’re used to. We’ve done it for as long as we can remember. It’s easy to think that your life could be made 10x better just by the loss of a few pounds of flesh, than by facing all those problems individually.

So I ate my cookies, and I felt good. And eventually, I didn’t want them anymore – not because I’d now felt so fat I couldn’t take it, but because I knew I COULD have them if I wanted them. It’s like living in an ice cream shop – you eat all the ice cream you want but after 2 weeks you’re sick to the back teeth of damn ice cream. So I applied that rule to all foods – if I wanted it, I ate it.

I’ve gained weight since I got back from America in Feb. I have also never been more at peace with myself, or with food. I no longer have emotional ties to food. After learning the signals of when I was hungry for comfort (mouth hunger) and hungry physilogically for food (stomach hunger), I started to deal with the problems at hand, instead of eating first. And then I gave myself the option to eat, and I started to opt out, because it felt unneccessary afterwards.

I’m beginning to eat only when I am hungry, and only the foods I really want. And with time, I’m sure I’ll get sick of the crappy food and start craving good, nutricious stuff. Today, I craved a banana for the first time in my life. I broke up with diets. And I’ll never ever ever go back to feeling that way, I’m taking care of myself the proper way now – and my life is changing around for the better. I’m confident that with these natural changes I’ll eventually be at a natural weight, with the healthy relationship towards food that I have lacked for so many years.

…and if I want a damn cookie, I’m going to have one – not to prove a point, or break a rule, or for comfort, but because they taste yummy 😉

And so concludes my small ramble about diets and the F word.

Feel free to share anything you want!

– and incase anyone was wondering, this isn’t me trying to tell anyone to lose weight or than thin is the way to be. Personally, I feel more comfortable at a healthy, lower weight than I am now and my words here were based on my feelings towards myself and that’s all! Hope that’s okay 🙂


13 Responses to “Diets & The F word”

  1. Liz Says:

    Everything you’ve said makes perfect sense. I’ve been battling the “F” word my whole life. There have been times when I’ve won and there have been more times when I’ve lost. Right now I spend a good amount of time working out and trying to be healthy that way, but my issues with food I can’t get a handle on. I eat whatever I want. And it makes sense that eventually you’ll get tired of it. I’ve worked in several coffee shops in my life that all offer super yummy pastries and sweets and once I had them all I eventually got sick of them and didn’t want them anymore. I think a lot of the time I tell myself “if I were thinner my life would be better” I almost believe that it would be true. But I know it’s not, I’ve been thin and it didn’t necessarily make my life any better or make me as happy as I thought it would. There’s always something else behind the “F” word for me and why I have the relationship with food that I do have. Today is my birthday and I’m about to eat some cake! I hate the idea of diets, I love the idea of making healthier decisions and I love the idea of being able to still eat that cake or those cookies when I want to. I’m still trying to deal with all of my issues food and non-food related. Sorry for rambling on your blog but it’s just so funny that someone across the ocean is thinking about the same things I am at the very same time. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Rosie!

  2. MauriceDomingo Says:

    Your write beautifully and I really love your positive view on life! Rosie for President!

  3. Agnes Says:

    inspiring. 🙂

  4. Marisa Says:

    Rosie, I can’t even begin to tell you how helpful I just found this. I’ve been battling with myself for a long time about the whole diet thing, and I had never really thought about it this way before. Thanks so much =)

  5. Jenny B Says:

    I love this!! I think you’re absolutely right. 🙂 Thanks for this! ♥

  6. laura Says:

    i love this piece of writing rosie – u r so right about it all!! i dont think i’ll ever be happy with what i see in the mirror but dieting doesnt make me happy so why put myself through it?! the shape i am is the shape i am and as long as im putting good things in as well as those bits of chocolate then thats good enuf for me.

    your work is beautiful rosie – keep doing what your doing 😀

  7. lisadragon Says:

    I’m realising this too, diets doesn’t work but its actually harmful because your body is deprived of what it needs. Its better to eat frequently of small portions of a balanced diet than not eating and then big portions due to hunger/dieting.

    Thx for sharing RH, LOVE your work! Keep updating~

  8. FashionCloud Says:

    This was one hell of an inspiring post to read, thank you so much for sharing this!!
    Your pictures are divine and your writing is a joy to read


  9. Olivia Says:

    You’re so inspirational. Really. I always look at myself in the mirror and think, “you have gross lovehandles” but I try very hard to look in the mirror and think, ” you’ve got great legs.” Its hard, but over time, you get better at it.
    Sadly I have to stick to a very limited diet because I have stomach problems, and it can make life difficult. Some foods that i HAVE to eat can be causes of extra weight (namely the evil carbs) but i NEED them, and if I dont get them, I cant function. Sometimes I get upset because I think to myself, “I wish i could eat salads and low fat things more often” but the fact is I cant, and over time, i’m beginning to accept my body 🙂

    Your little “rant” as you call it, just helps that extra little bit! 😀

  10. Jabed Says:

    Hi, I haven’t actually read this post fully but after reading that you searched the word ‘fat’ on Daily Mail. I wanted to say: I hope you don’t regularly read the Daily Mail in the UK. Because that newspaper is as bad or maybe even as worse as the Sun newspaper!
    I recommend the Guardian or the Times. I read both but mostly Guardian.

  11. Katrina Says:

    I tried for 2 whole years to lose weight. I tried fad diets, saw a dietician, exercised, it was sooo hard and in the end I only saw minimal results. I stopped all that nonsense and just enjoyed LIVING and dropped weight rapidly without even trying. I didn’t feel guilty about eating, as you said. I gave my body what it wanted, and in return, it gave me what I wanted.

  12. TheShape Says:

    I know this is old. Err at least a little older than today’s date. Anyway, I have always been a little overweight and it wasn’t until recently that I decided to do something about it. I am the world’s worst when it comes to over-researching information about the current subject I am currently involved in. So I can say I did my fair share of looking into EVERYTHING.

    I started the program P90X exactly 30 days ago. I didn’t follow “their” diet plan, being married and a father of two girls makes a dent on the wallet when I have to buy their food and then the food I want. In 30 days I have lost 4 lbs. That may not seem like a lot, but it is since I wasn’t expecting much. We as a family ate healthier but didn’t cut out one food type or another. And the fat still came off. And here is why…

    Humans need to consume a certain number of calories to maintain their current weight. If we eat a little less calories, we will start to see a drop in weight. If we continue to eat more calories than we need, we gain weight. The mere thought of “counting calories” made me roll my eyes, but that’s really the only way to properly control the fat on our bodies. Everything has calories, good foods and bad. If we surpass our “needed caloric intake” by eating 30 apples, guess what? Eventually you will gain weight.

    So since I started to monitor how may calories are in foods (not done to the one calorie) but just kept an eye on it, and added some form of exercise, I am able to burn more calories giving me a “calorie deficit” If I eat 1500 calories and burn 2000, my deficit is 500. 450 calories a day is 1/8th of a pound, which turns out to be 11 total pounds in 90 days.

    I am not a trainer, a health nut, or a spokesman. I am a regular dude who is finally starting to see real life results. I just wanted to share this with you.

  13. Laura Jayne Says:

    I have a huge problem with binge eating myself -I really hope I can do what you did!

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